I am the nightmare.

I am the dream.

I am the god.

I am the Satan.

I am the moon and the stars, the sun and the comets.

I fall like rain and rise in time with the tides.

I flow with winds that travel beside mountains from times of old.

I am at once the wonder and also the terror.

I have known and hold both innocence and perversion within the confides of my soul.

My body has been torn apart then put back togther with the scraps of sanity I grabbed with each trial I suffered.

I know the gray areas are only bridges that keep the infinity within me anchored.

And that makes me no less the powerful human I am right now, the one I always will be.

I am Jourdan R. Lobban.

And I am Riv J. Lobban, Riv-Rayne J. Divinity.

I know that I am a survivor, a warrior, a miracle baby and person whose existence is worth celebrating.

I am at peace with the light and dark within myself. And I love all parts of me from feriociously ugly to downright beautiful.

For everything I have done that is unspeakable, I hold myself with compassion, nurturing, love, and non-judgemental, unconditional accpetance. I know that the reasons why I did those things came from parts of me deeply wounded from all the trauma I experienced.

I know who I am. I embrace who I am. I accept who I am.

I am the king who defies all.

A queen of her own right.

A downright Godx With An Edge.

And most importantly, a flame that lights up in the dark without any fucking apology.